<body>

Its okay if a family is incomplete as long as it has warmth.

When it lacks of both, its gonna be a killer.

At least I thought my sister had died under its hands, with her own mindset that the family doesn't have it.

Every family has its problem, I think mine is real big.

You don't really know how to put it across. Its too long that you don't really know where to start or how to end. It just draws itself in a circle, never-ending, yet torturous and gets even deeper as it goes round and round.

The pain inflicted just got deeper each time the same cycle runs. I don't exactly know whether its me that is too happy-go-lucky that I feel nothing, or I already feel so numb that I feel nothing. Useless in a way. Helpless in another. There's nothing we could do, especially when nothing we had done is right and useful for her. Seriously have no idea whether its just us, or its just her. Except to pray that, this strayed one will be able to get back to the right runway one day.

Is that too much to ask for?

Doesn't she have any idea, the three people, in their three separate rooms, are worrying about the same person, same thing. Why can't she just change for those that love her, for good? What are we to her?

I just hope everyone, especially grandma will be fine, and live on with good health, despite worrying about her every single second.

Some people have to wait till they lose it, to feel regretful. Simply no point.

I know this is real mean, but I seriously feel like giving my parents two tight slaps for throwing this burden to my aunt and grandma, and they have to deal with the mess that they did not have to.

The only thing I can repay her with, is to secure my future, so that I can secure hers. But I'm nowhere there now. Somebody please guide me.



This is life@
2:01 AM
♥Sunday, January 17, 2010