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Actually sometimes I wonder, if some ppl deserves me to treat them with all of my heart?

All these yrs, I tried to please and satisfy everybody(of coz everybody refers to ppl that I think are my friends and ppl who I think are worthy for me to do things for them), sometimes even sacrificing my own needs. And it doesn't matter to me. N it's nt for me to SHOW that wow ling is so nice n whatever, those bullshit. The point is, all I've done for ppl ard me are NV FOR SHOW! I always believe that when it comes to making friends, the way you treat them n all, should seriously comes from your heart. Shoudn't it be like that?? I dun give a damn actually about how others view, think or even talk abt me. All i wanted was for everyone ard me to be happy. That's all. Its so simple yet so difficult when doing so. Is reality and the fact that everyone is selfish, that's making ppl to be suspicious of one's gd intentions for them?

Well yes I dun care abt how OTHERS think abt me. But when it comes to ppl I hold dear, when it comes to ppl that I really care abt and all, I can't act as if nth's going on. To all friends(esply close ones), I srsly hope that, if in one way or another, when u're unhappy with me, will u just freaking tell me abt it. I can't stand ppl going ard the bush n say that everything's okay when its actually nt, esply when even yourself are not okay with it! Coz its not the first time I'm feeling this way right now. N it feels terrible.

Maybe, its just right, to treat everyone fairly n equally, and not having so called close friends. To protect urself. Sometimes I just wish I could do that, but well, I think I will nv be able to.



This is life@
2:40 AM
♥Saturday, July 18, 2009