<body>

I juz spent like 1 n a half hours reading though my blog archives. From the first post all e way till here. N it seems like i'm seeing my own life story. I had my childish, stubborn n unreasonable times. I also realised that co and yangqin are somethings that i had been mentioning in my sec 3 n sec 4 posts. These few days i did spend some time on practising, figuring out notes for songs. I seemed to be able to see the passionate yiling, the girl who used to love spending hours wif her yangqin, the girl who loved playing it so much. But right now, i seldom mentioned abt co, or yangqin. I really missed those times back then. Those times whereby i was ranting abt the whole btyco's improvement, n a gd thing is most of my best friends are in co n also in e com, back then everyone helps each other and are always encouraging one another, counselling juniors with either suan or lay or sookie, complaining that my juniors are not hardworking enouf, crapping wif lao zhou(conductor), n really playing when practicing. Those times whereby everyone is so cooperative and committed, we worked together for the same goal, no matter is cca orientation or wat. Hitting the gong like crazy as we walked ard e sch promoting our cca. Busy introducing those instruments to ppl who came into our rm. Practicing hard juz for a small small performance. Today, though i hold e same position in nyco. But i dun see all these things occurring. I noe btyco is nt as gd as some of those prestigous ones like some of u came from. N i had to agree that our exposure is really little as compared to some of u. I dun mind if u guys tell us abt e things that we had been doing wrongly, n guide us back to the right path. No matter what we are now in e same orchestra, no one is perfect. We are still constantly learning n stuff. But pls dun speak to us in a nt so nice tone. We need ur feedbacks to really improve ourselves, but its juz e way some of u tok to us that made it hard to continue listening. Even if u are right, i mean, mind ur attitude pls. We'll listen, i promise.

N i wonder to myself, where has all my passion gone to? Or rather, did i join co again juz for e sake of joining?? I'm actually quite sure at the start that i still have my passion wif me. N yup i do agree wif jess that in JC, ppl will definitely chose studies over cca. Sometimes even myself dun practice at home. But whenever i started playing my yangqin, i noe it myself that i still have it wif me, even up till now. N now i dunno wat i'm doing. I dun even noe whether i'm worth being placed in this position. Being disappointed in urself is nv a gd feeling. N so i'm nt feeling very gd now. I juz hope that for e rest of these few months, the whole committee can come n work together. Whereby everyone is equal, no stereotyping, n the difference of whether u're from xxx sec sch or yyy sec sch doesn't exist. We're now here in NYCO, as a big family. So i hope that we can work together, at least treat each other wif respect. Start to think of solutions instead of purely juz complaining. I'm sure we'll be able to work something out, n dun give up so easily shall we?



This is life@
8:25 PM
♥Saturday, November 17, 2007