<body>

WOooooo..... today morning i went back to sch.... those ppl who go for the ngee-ann ploy thingy are supposed to gather at 8:00am... as usual... i took a cab to sch.... i had been relying on cab to bring mi to sch... think i will sooner or later go bankrupt... after all ppl are there, we went up to the bus and set off for ngee ann poly.... The competition was somehow interesting.... learn more things from each grps... There are realli gd presenters.... Our class got merit... but its already considered not bad le... at least we made it to the top 12(finals)...... GD JOB(to sarah, mimi, tham tham and jolene)

After the competition we went back to sch.... they went to long john silver to eat.... and i joined them... though... for half an hour... coz i had to been dia and may to shop for laylay's present... i think this present will be the most unique and special present for her.... something that is dead meaningful.... Hope lay will be happy with our present... and hope that this "metal" gal can be touched... hehez... 3 more days to her bd..... hmmz.....

We went to ps then we went to j8...... it was a suffer!!! we wanted to go to j8 from ps, but we got on the wrong mrt train.... then after one stop we had to get out.... this situation repeats for abt 2 or 3 times.... dunno wat's wrong wif us today... hahaz... so "cute" man...... hahaz.... funnie....

Hahaz.... i always had the thought of whether i wanna go back to single whenever i m free and can think watever i wanna think... but the topic i think will always surround him... or classmates... sometimes even lay, may, dia..... haiz... i m perplexed.... i dunno wat will happen in the future... i m no longer confident that this race can continue, can last..... We had no interaction at all and i felt that we are more of strangers...... than couple.... this is a very very very weird senerio.... i also dunno wat's wrong wif him..... i realli dunno..... is he too shy or wadever..... but i dun care.... i m already fed up.... i dun wanna give myself hope and end up disappointing myself.... everytime i think abt him i cannot focus on other things...... even if it means that i wun finished my homework within my time set.... i hope i could still have some self-control over myself... i dun feel like mi... I had to wear my mask infront of my classmates... i also dunno when i m true and when i m not.... its realli hard to get a gd friend in 3e2...... hard....... right now... i juz wanna focus on my studies... i wanna get gd grades and passed my o's with flying colour... i hope i can get a maximum of 12 marks(L1R5 i mean).... i will study hard de.....

No matter wat happen in the future.... YILING WILL STILL BE YILING.... nth will change... i can recover fast i believe..... i m still in the process of consideration..... haiz.... aniwae... this is life.... and i had to learn how to cope with it... i noe more things and more pressure will come up.... but how much it come i will take in how much....

Still got another matter... i suppose most of my friends noe wat's going on between my parents yrs ago.... my father had lost his contact with us for several yrs... recently... my mum saw him nearby marine terrace and i think they did tok..... My father is a useless bum man.... though i noe i m not suppose to say that.... but...... he is realli a super super super irresponsible man... if i were to bring sufferings to my mother... i rather i m not borned..... i feel that i m a burden to my mother..... haiz.... dun care so much le... so wat if my dad comes back?? i m still wat i m... my life will not change..... no matter whether he wanna take back custody anot... he can't... coz we are big enouf to make our own decision... he decided to be heartless first to abandon us..... so he cannot blame us for anithing that we do to him in the future..... i m learning from him!!! He reaps wat he sows...... this is retribution..... I rather he dun appear..... life had been peaceful... and i hope things will continue to go on smoothly.....

[even if life had too mani hurdles for mi, i will juz continue to run faster and jump higher to cross over them one by one]
[when there's a will, there's a way]
[no matter i m single or watever..... i m still who m i, this is a fact that will remain unchanged]
[i wanna be myself.... i dun want to wear a mask that dun suits mi]



This is life@
12:24 AM
♥Sunday, September 04, 2005